


Dumpster Date

by prettylittledarkstar



Series: The Adventures of Dumpster Man and the Indestructible Girl. [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, F/M, Modern AU, funny romance, just a silly little story to give you the laughs, part two of Indestructible!, rey and kylo are....doing their best
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-03
Updated: 2018-01-03
Packaged: 2019-02-27 19:52:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13255443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prettylittledarkstar/pseuds/prettylittledarkstar
Summary: Rey meets up with the mystery man from Craigslist. Fuckery ensues.





	Dumpster Date

**Author's Note:**

> lolol thanks for the feedback from the first chapter guys. i didn't expect it to get that much attention haha. 
> 
> this is the weirdest story i've ever written. it doesn't make sense. enjoy. xx anya

“It’s Kylo...I brought food?” It came out as more of a question, and Rey patted the spot beside her, noting how he eyed her bruised cheeks with a lingering gaze.

“Is that why you were late?” she asked, gazing at the bag of food he held, never losing track of it even as he moved to sit down. Of course, it could be spoiled, poisoned—or worse: from a dumpster.

“A simple thank you would suffice,” he grunted, and handed her a triangle-shaped box. She stared down at it and looked over to see him opening a box of his own and taking a huge bite.

Pizza.

Why was she even surprised?

“It’s not from a dumpster, is it?” she asked, staring warily at it and only half joking.

He merely scoffed and continued to eat. She placed her box to the side, deciding that the roulette pizza could wait. With a gentle tuck of her hair behind her ears, she turned her knees to face him.

“Aren’t you going to, I don’t know…introduce yourself or something?”

He was acting as though they had known each other for years.

He finished chewing and wiped his fingers before holding out his hand for her to shake. It had all the traits one would expect from a man his age: a knuckle scar, callouses, a few freckles from driving with his hands at 10 and 2. 

“Hi. I’m Kylo. Human disaster. Am I just as much of a wreck in person as I sound on the internet?” 

“So far? Quite,” she said carefully, “I’m Rey.”

She took his hand gingerly and his grip was warm and strong and much sturdier than she had expected. Amongst all the cliches Rey never believed, the one about sparks flying with a single touch was the most ridiculous one. She never believed it until this moment when, upon touching his skin, it was more of a jolt of energy that pulsed through her veins and excited her a little. Well, as excited as one could get in the park on a Monday evening, brushing skin with some dude from Craigslist. When he let go she almost didn’t want to, but figured it would be absolutely weird for them to hold hands.

“I sure hope you’re not here to harvest my organs,” she mumbled before she could stop herself, then glanced up at him to make sure she hadn’t offended him, or worse—been right. Instead of the incredulous confusion she expected, he laughed. Loudly and openly, and certainly for longer than she thought necessary.

“Nope,” he said, smiling as he reclaimed his pizza and took a bite. They sat in an interesting silence for some time and Rey sat on her hands to keep from fidgeting.

Finally, she couldn’t bear the awkwardness and took up her pizza, peeking the box open with tentative hands. Just plain cheese. She supposed he had no clue what she would like, and genuinely appreciated the gesture. So with a shrug, she took the humongous slice in both hands and took a bite.

Of course it was good. It was pizza. And she would have loved for there to be peppers and sausage and oregano; but of course it was free pizza and since when was she one to complain about free food?

He had straightened back against the bench and now eyed the world around him, glancing curiously at the dog statue beside him. So he wasn’t familiar with the area. Billy’s was far from her apartment, so maybe he lived over there? Rey watched him, studying his face and trying to grasp just what kind of person he could be.

The first thing she noticed was that he had a rather large nose for his face and his lips were pink and pillowy—pillowy? Since when did she use _that_ word to describe anything? But they were, and they looked soft, and his nose wasn’t quite so bad after she saw that it suited his rather long face. Freckles and beauty marks spattered along his cheeks and trailed both up to his forehead and down to his neck. His eyes were a common shade of brown, though rather light and almost golden, and they sat beneath furrowed eyebrows. His hair wasn’t much, just long enough to hang about an inch above his shoulders, and judging by the hair elastic on his wrist, he probably fussed over it too often because of its intolerable habit of flying into his face. Perhaps he worked somewhere where he constantly moved and needed to hunch over something, like an artist or a sculptor. Or a dumpster man. His clothes were nothing out of the ordinary, but she noticed a silver chain peeking out from the collar of his black pullover.

“Are you reading me, witchy woman?” he asked curiously, but Rey merely ignored him.

“So what prompted you to put a missed connection on Craigslist?” she asked after swallowing another bite, eyeing him, “The chances of anyone ever actually finding those are rare. And why not speak better of yourself? You’ll never get far with that sort of description.”

“Yet here I am with you,” he smirked, and she couldn’t quite argue—she set herself up for that one.

Rey rolled her eyes and threw a glance across the way where Finn sat on a giant stone orb meant to be an art fixture. He sat there and stuck out like a sore thumb as he checked his watch and pretended to talk on the phone. They locked eyes momentarily and Rey gave him a quick nod of encouragement, notifying him that she was fine.

She worked on her pizza and finished before he did, which seemed to impress him more than anything.

“I’ve never been to this park,” Kylo said, glancing around once more, “Mind if we go for a walk?” He stood and offered her his hand, which she politely refused, mainly because she didn’t want Finn to give her that look of disapproval.

Brushing off her pants and readjusting her arm bindings, she gathered up her trash and dumped it away. From behind her, Rey could hear someone calling her name.

“Rey!”

It was Finn, whisper-screaming as best he could. Not wanting to make a scene, she glanced at Kylo’s back and then gestured for Finn to follow.

They walked along the path in a comfortable lull and admired the quirks of the green-space around them. Dogs trotting alongside their owners, teenagers crowding a picnic table here and there. The park was mostly empty, as it was starting to get dark. But Rey didn’t mind. There was always something interesting to find when people left.

 

“Please tell me why you dove into a dumpster to get a pizza? I hope this isn’t a regular thing for you?”

“Not at all. Wasted and hungry. And for some reason I thought it was a good idea to reach in the dumpster behind the local pizza place and grab the box on top instead of going into the store like a normal person. Now that I think about it, they likely would have kicked me out for public intoxication. But I dropped my keys in there after some reaching, so I just jumped in. It wasn’t full or anything, but the damn lid shut behind me and I thought those were my final hours: wasted, hungry, and shivering inside of a dumpster. Until I realized that I could just open the lid.”

She had no clue what to say about that, so she changed directions. “And why did you sleep on your kitchen floor?”

“Mm, it wasn’t a proud moment,” he shrugged, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“Neither was me getting hit by a car and then cursing out the driver.”

He snorted, yet it sounded cynical.

“I’ll tell you a secret,” she began, and he turned to glance at her with mild interest, “I slept on my kitchen floor a few months ago.”

“Were you wasted?”

It certainly wasn’t a proud moment, but she had been newly twenty-one and none of her friends had been available to celebrate, so she took matters into her own hands and scoured the store for something relatively nice. But unbeknownst to her, she did not understand that the proof of alcohol affected everyone differently. As a girl inexperienced with hard liquor and weighing all but a hundred and twenty pounds, blending strawberry daiquiri mix with three-quarters of a bottle of rum turned out to be the most delicious way to almost fucking die.

“Blacked out, likely,” she commented, and he nodded sympathetically, “It was a birthday. You?”

“Daddy issues.”

“Ah.” She nodded, knowing full well from experience what that meant. Emotion sometimes was so strong you couldn’t handle it—you just had to cry on your kitchen floor like a heathen until all felt well again. 

“So, other than yelling at trucks and people on the internet, what interests you?”

“Well, I’m currently an aspiring starving artist with a waitressing job. I’d love nothing more than to move out of my apartment and into one closer to work but that’s not really…anyways, I like designing small spaces and rooms with things like minimalism and comfort in mind. It’s merely a hobby. And I’m certainly one for contests. I bet I can beat you at almost anything involving a wrench.”

“A wrench?”

“Yes. But what about you, Dumpster Man?”

He bristled at the nickname but went on regardless.

“I’m a businessman.”

“That’s it?”

He shrugged, seemingly closed off when he once was completely open about himself.

“Sounds kind of boring,” she said, not unkindly. She felt rather than saw the tension in him as he walked next to her.

The sun had dipped low into the horizon, shooting off brilliant streaks of warm colors into the sky as it told the city goodnight. They walked on, the gravel crunching beneath their shoes as they approached a dip in the path that lead to a small playground. It was deserted except for a few birds who settled on the monkey bars and the slide.

With an idea to stop the overwhelming tension, she said, “You think it’ll hold our weight?”

“What?”

Wordlessly, she sprinted down towards the merry-go-round and hopped on, watching as Kylo jogged to keep up. When he approached her, she noticed that he was wearing dress shoes and slacks. Had he actually come here straight from work? No wonder this man was so depressed.

“That doesn’t—“

“Oh, come on,” she said giddily, “Push me and then jump on.”

He eyed her and the merry-go-round warily for quite some time, an uncertainty about him that made her scoff.

“C’mon, Kylo. Live a little.”

At that he sighed, giving her one last glance of disdain before grabbing the handles and dragging them along as he ran in circles to get a good amount of speed. She giggled and gripped her handles hard, deciding to sit on her knees in case he went any faster. And he did, building up speed until he finally pulled himself on and sat opposite her.

It was a miracle that they didn’t break the poor squeaking thing, but it held up quite well. Rey embraced the wind on her cheeks and closed her eyes for a moment.

“This is what it’s like to feel alive.”

“In my late twenties, spinning on a merry-go-round in the middle of the night?”

She just laughed and nodded as if that truly was the buzz of living.

When it stopped, she begged him to do it again, but then he argued that it was her turn to push. The childish dispute was something that made her happy rather than upset, as it meant that she was having enough fun out of her own apartment.

They rode it again and again and both of them laughed their heads off like little kids in on a dumb joke.

For one final time, Kylo threw himself onto the platform and gazed up at her, his cheeks tinged pink from running.

“Hey, quick question?” he asked, breathless.

“Hmm?”

“Will you marry me?”

“What?” She had to grip the handles extra tight to keep from tumbling off and hitting her head. He froze as well and, with the spinning contraption they sat on, it skewed her perception into looking like they were the only things visible in a blur of colors.

“Are you out of your mind?! We’ve only just met! You could be an axe murderer for all I know!”

He rubbed the back of his neck and sighed.

“Shit. Okay. Will you marry me later?”

Rey glared back at him, ready to tug her ear for Finn who was not far behind, but then he opened his mouth again.

“Listen, normally I have a Plan B, but I wasn’t expecting you to be such an _angel_ so I didn’t even have a comprehensive Plan A.”

He sounded frustrated, and if Rey wasn’t so stunned she would have found it endearing. She noticed how comically hard he was taking all of this, but she remembered how she didn’t know shit about it either, really. She never had parents to lead by example. Maybe he just wasn’t well versed. And she supposed this was half humor. Or maybe this was a joke her friends were playing on her. She hoped it wasn’t.

“I’m not going to just up marry you, Kylo. That’s not how things work,” she said gently, a laugh plaguing her tone. The merry-go-round came to a gentle stop and she adjusted to sit cross-legged. As she watched the conflict within him cloud his features, she sighed and placed a hand on his shoulder. She really hoped she wouldn’t regret this. She quite liked him now.

“But maybe you can try asking me on a date?” she said shyly, giving him a quick smile. 

The dark cloud over his head lifted and he perked up, the beginning of a smile on his lips.

“Would you, Rey, like to join me for dinner tomorrow night?”

A grin begged to form on her lips but she forced it down.

“Hmm, nope,” she said decidedly as she hopped up and skipped off to the slide. It was a bit too soon, and she also didn’t want to come across as desperate.

She climbed the stairs and crawled through the spaces that were far too small for her, hoping he was watching. Then she sat down on the slide and rode down in one graceful whoosh. Kylo met her at the bottom, squatting before her like a parent before giving a child a spanking.

He must have realized her game.

“I’m a rather busy man,” he said, straightening his sleeves, “I might not have the time in my schedule for any other night this month.”

“Maybe you’ll just have to call me, then.”

“I don’t do long distance. Especially when you live in the same state.” His tone was less forgiving that it had been all night, and something told her that this was more along the lines of ‘Businessman Kylo.’ She didn’t mind him.

“Who said anything about long distance? I only told you to call.” There was a hint of a smile on her face because this was fun—playing hard to get and flirting and such. And she certainly hadn’t done _that_ in a while.

“How about I call you a cab and then you call me when you get home safely?” he asked, taking both her hands and dragging her to her feet.

~~~~~~~~~~~

“You really think I’m an angel?” she said as he walked her to the cab, a gentle hand resting respectfully high on her back.

“Don’t flatter yourself. Goodnight, Rey.”

The door shut and he stepped away from the cab. After telling the man where to take her, Rey had it in her to glance back at him to see that he was still watching her ride away. As she settled back in her seat, she couldn’t help but laugh too giddily at all this. What a ridiculous twist of fate! Maybe she wasn’t doomed to be alone forever.

 

It wasn’t until she had paid the cabbie and turned the key to her apartment when she remembered:

Shit. _Finn!_

**Author's Note:**

> sorry if there are any errors, this wasn't really edited. all the more fun for crack, i guess?
> 
> leave a kudos or comment if you want to see more i suppose! im trying to decide if i should continue...


End file.
